Sunday, August 13, 2006
Happy birthday and the 13th
Happy 18th birthday to u.U'll never read here.Coz u've forgotten.
closed my eyes and waited for time to pass.I remembered.But i chose to be quiet.Tears flow but it doesnt mean a thing anymore.
uR eVeRyDaY bEaR-[kEiTh]- skated in Heaven @ Sunday, August 13, 2006
Saturday, August 12, 2006
A dream
I always had a dream.Something which i had since young. I thought i could go to some place far, live far away from my nightmares. Away from the sadness. I never had a childhood. I never had a life i could held my head up high. I looked down.And when i grew up, i realised that the only door i could run away from, is myself. If torturing myself everyday is such a burden,why not just end it at one shot and just reach to where i shld call freedom.I dun wanna be trapped in such a world. I cant turn back time or go somewhere else. So i choose not to exist. And maybe,yes maybe...i'll end up some place better. There's nothing left behind for me.On the 13th,there's a very special gal bdae. And before anything happens, i would like to sing her a bdae song.Happy birthday to u...Happy birthday to u...Happy birthday my baby...Happy birthday to u...I'm sorryI'll always love u.But i cant stay.If everyone has to leave one day, then i rather choose the day when i had to go.I never knew that it could be so painful.Ur right,im not strong. I cant move on.
uR eVeRyDaY bEaR-[kEiTh]- skated in Heaven @ Saturday, August 12, 2006
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
It's time
If every drop of tear has a meaning. Mine do. For the love i lost, for the pain i suffer, for the loneliness i'll face. She told me she aint coming back for good. Not with anyone else. Im gone. I really dunno why am i still trying to breathe. I really dun wan to. If i've a chance to kneel down in front of god now, i'll beg him to take me away. Why arent u taking me with u. I give up trying to carry on with my life. U dunno how much im suffering to love. U dint taught me how to love, u dint taught me how to deal with after love. U only made me see what love brings. And it's nothing good. Why. Stuck in my room, all walls coming on against me. Im crushed. I hope i am. Then i wouldnt have to get out of this fucking room and face another day. Hurt myself,is that the only thing i could do now to get out of it. If i wait and wait and wait, life just wunt change.will it. I never knew when the last kiss was coming. I should have held on tight and not let go.
uR eVeRyDaY bEaR-[kEiTh]- skated in Heaven @ Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Sunday, July 23, 2006
love isnt a debt
Dinner at kfc.Dessert at Gelare. A walk in town.Im so happy.I realised that simple yet precious moments meant so much to me. I saw her face.Heard her speak. I stood right beside her. There's nothing more i could i ask for. Managed to send her home ontime. I didn't had to be scolded by her. The day ended well. On the way home,she stared out the window.Her back facing me. I saw her reflection and how something seems to be on her mind. Wanted so badly to hug her.But i was held back. I was afraid she might push me away,afraid of rejection. But the urge was still there. Walked her home. Send her up the lift.Wanted to kiss her,i dint had the chance. But im glad that i told her, "i love u".I just wanted to be heard. On my way home, i was upset i didnt had the chance to kiss her.And after awhile, i thought about it and i should be thankful she was around. Around on a Saturday. A day thatused to be baby-bonding day. I guess when u really love someone, intimacy is all part of an act or something extra. What's more valuable,is when the person stil exists. I just gotta appreciate whatever the moment is,as long as she is by my side. She seems troubled today.I shouldn't add to her burden.I shouldn't probe.I should share her worries and make her happy. Money isn't everything.And it can'tbuy love.But with money, i got to bring her to enjoy the pleasures of life.And gosh, look at her smile. I will wait for this gal. She can never be replaced or be forgotten. I gotta take every chance i got. I won't let my chances pass me by. She's everything i ever need to be perfect.She makes me complete. And i wunt let her be alone. It doesn't matter if im not mentioned,coz i know i was there and if u lovesomeone, u dun hafta let the whole world noe. But just let her know.
[Come back and let me comfort u]
uR eVeRyDaY bEaR-[kEiTh]- skated in Heaven @ Sunday, July 23, 2006
Saturday, May 06, 2006
it's not right
Today,i told myself that i wanna concentrate on my job. Only when i ended work,my mind started to put me through pain again. I walked ard town. I have never been smiling at all for a long time. I cant remember when was the last time i did. Realised that i've been so lonely. I miss her. I dun have the strength to fall in love.Im afraid. Once said that after her,i would stop loving another anymore.Autumn and Grace. 2 different fairy tales, yet the same ending.They left. All left. i still love her.jus her
uR eVeRyDaY bEaR-[kEiTh]- skated in Heaven @ Saturday, May 06, 2006
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Screwed
Nothing is going well in my life now. For the first time, i went out for dinner with my family after so long.But i didnt enjoy it with my mood like that. Work today was so busy and tiring. And everything was okae until i made a mistake. Got punished today. For every 5mins im late, i gotta stay back for half an hour more.So yeah, i stayed back for a few hours. Sigh. Boss called me in to the office, sounded so harsh towards me. He lost his patience. Said that my attitude has been gng from bad to worst. For a trainee to receive a warning letter in less than 2mths.That's deep shit. I guess so. He asked why have i been late for work recently and everything. I said i didnt sleep well. It was no excuse.
Went to the playground to sit down.So much to think about,so much to remember. I don't like going home. There's nothing for me to go home. Really nothing. No calls,no nothing. My life is such that i cant be happy anymore for any reason.
Who is keith? i dunno.Really i dun. Life is really not fair.Or rather full of downs.
uR eVeRyDaY bEaR-[kEiTh]- skated in Heaven @ Sunday, April 23, 2006
Saturday, April 22, 2006
driven to a point
Im shivering now as i type. Im being forced into a corner by everything. Im going crazy. There are bruises on me. Drinking for the sake for it.Everything is killing me. I want to calm down.I cant. Help me pls.Someone pls help me.I need help. Don't leave me all alone.
uR eVeRyDaY bEaR-[kEiTh]- skated in Heaven @ Saturday, April 22, 2006
